Self
Reflection
Trees Are Life’s Greatest Role Models
In the maze of life, when we fall to our lowest of lows and get stuck in the weeds of uncertainty, I believe we should look to the trees. These silent giants, standing still and straight through the trial of time, provide valuable lessons that anyone can take, if they know to look.
The trunk of a tree is an embodiment of resilience. Faced with the harshest of storms and constant changing of the times, the trunk stands tall, unmoved. The trunk can bend under winds, lose its shell due to another’s intent or lack thereof, and see its beauty fall due to circumstances out of its control. Yet each time it remains tall and strong, fighting the variety of challenges thrown at it, despite having enough excuses to fall and crumble. The trunk is an artist who specializes in facing life’s challenges without losing its core strength, allowing it to reach new heights and continue to give to others. This I believe.
A look up is all it takes to see the branches of a tree, constantly trying to reach new heights and undiscovered spaces. Each limb stems from the trunk with the goal to set new boundaries for itself and others who lean on the tree. The branches of a tree push the limits of stability and growth, extending beyond its own confines in a manner that promotes development for itself and those who rely on it. The intricate entwining of branches coexists in a manner that doesn’t intrude on the space of others, echoing that unity and collaboration can flourish without the expense of anything. This I believe.
The leaves stemming from each branch change with each season and tree. For some trees, their leaves stay there forever, from the time they grow to the time they die. For other trees, their leaves come and go as often as the seasons. Yet no matter how bare or full of leaves the tree may be, it is still a tree, whose identity and beauty surpasses the seasons and the eye candy that is often the leaves. The tree is grateful for the leaves, as they provide beauty and color, but is free to display their true self when the leaves fall, highlighting beauty in an authentic way. The leaves of a tree are storytellers, as they write in the language of seasons, showcasing how each chapter contributes to the evolving story of a tree. This I believe.
Roots, hidden in the rich soil, function as a network that stabilizes the tree, and connects it with the environment around it. The stability of the roots provides support for the trunk, for when the trunk wants to fall, the roots hold it in place, reminding it of how it got to be so strong. The roots act as a complex web of connections, forming a supportive community. The tree draws from this community, gaining strength from the connections that hide under the surface. The roots of a tree weave a narrative of interconnected strength that lies underneath the surface and supports the tree through its toughest of winters and its brightest of summers. This I believe.
I believe that if I looked to the trees more often, I would be better. I would have more strength, founded in my beliefs, and displayed through my actions. I would be beautiful, no matter how I looked or how barren and authentic I am. I would constantly be striving for more, providing space for others in the process. The timeless lessons offered by trees, rooted in strength, authenticity and growth have the power to transform individuals. If everybody just looked to the trees more, we would all be better people. This I believe.
This I Believe:
Writing this piece was a really fun and thoughtful experience. While I initially had ideas on what I wanted to do it around, I struggled to find the right way to phrase and talk about it. Ultimately, I decided to talk about the lessons we can learn from the trees we see every day. I choose to write it in a way that highlights each piece of the tree and has implications of the similarities between a tree and a human.
Growing up, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstien was read to me more times than I could count at those ages. It’s part of the inspiration of my message in my This I Believe statement. The Giving Tree for me carries a multitude of messages, stemming from the unconditional support of the tree to the appreciation of the tree by the man for what it was. This really inspired my thinking behind my statement and what created was a culmination of ideas and other insights from my childhood that have stuck with me.
This piece challenges me to be better. I write it in the hope that it challenges others to be better but also recognize that role models don’t have to do extraordinary things. Sometimes it’s the things that we take the most for granted that carry the most lessons we’ve yet to learn, and I think this statement showcases that idea in it’s fullest.
Emotional Intelligence Profile
What stands out as maybe the most influential activity I was given the opportunity to do through CLP, the Emotional Intelligence profile (EQ was an eye-opening experience. I think most people who go through CLP would agree with that statement in some way. My EQ profile enabled me to use the proper language and perspective to talk about my emotions, responses to conflict and empathy. Through debriefing and constant questioning and discussion about our EQ profiles through LDRS 325, I began to understand past the numbers and begin to integrate it into my daily thinking.
The EQ profile gave me impactful insights on my self-other orientation and how it affects my day to day individual and group interactions. When placed under stress, I was found to either focus on myself or the other, struggling to find the balance between the two. I hadn’t realized that this could have even created problems until I was presented with my EQ profile. I found that I tend to blame myself first when things go wrong and agree to place blame on myself. The EQ profile gave me awareness of this and allowed me to recognize that I was too comfortable taking blame for things that I had no part in, something I have been working to change in the two years since being exposed to my EQ profile.
Being exposed to my range of feelings confirmed and denied some growing suspicions I had before taking the EQ profile. I was unsurprised to see that I lack the ability to feel anxiety or anger. The EQ profile allowed me to understand what my suspicions meant, allowing me to understand that a lack of access to anger may result in missed opportunities in discussion or actions being taken. I was exposed to new language and an understanding that I lacked access to shame, an emotion that I rare gave much time or attention to. However, my realization and understanding of this came after being given my EQ profile and I have since worked to recognize situations where I should feel shame and understand how to grapple with shame when I do feel it.
Over 3 years ago, I submitted my application for Gonzaga’s Comprehensive Leadership Program. This was in large part thanks to my mother, who sent me a link to the CLP with the words “This looks interesting, you should apply for it” via email, something she still does to this day. A dear friend of mine named Emma Stickney, who I had done ASB with, was in the program at the time and constantly encouraged me to apply from the moment I decided to come here. And so I applied, answering the prompts as to why I wanted to join, someone I admire, something I was passionate about and something they didn’t already know.
Rereading my response to the first question, I think I misunderstood what I would be getting out of the program. While I answered to the three dimensions of self-awareness, relationships with others and community action for the common good, my interpretation of what these three dimensions meant was shallow. I talked about my previous leadership, cause why wouldn’t I and said I thought I was close to where I wanted to be as a leader, which was totally wrong, based off how much I’ve grown and learned in these past three years. What surprised me the most when rereading my response to the first question was my desire to leave a legacy which has not waiver throughout my time here. That desire was a large factor of me proposing the TEDx event, especially as I continued to see my classmates and peers leave their mark on the school. While the response was good enough to get me in, I definitely think I could have dreamt a little bigger.
The second question was about who I see as a leader and I said my father. My father was someone I look up to, and a role model, although I wasn’t the biggest fan of that phrase at the time. Much of what I wrote in that answer stands true today. He still can turn anything into a lesson or some cheesy quote about life. He can strike up and carry a conversation with almost anybody, making it look so effortless that I sometimes get jealous. He’s always there for his family and is such a strong emotional voice in our family. If I had to answer the question again, in this present day, I think I would write a very similar answer, choosing my father as a leader and role model and listing out many of the same qualities I did 3 years ago.
The third prompt was about passion, and I decided to talk about my desire to question things, or the “reality and sanity of things: as a wrote. I was so enamored by the concept of the unknown and questioning ideas that I almost wrote my college essay about paradoxes and how unique and unappreciated they are. I didn’t quite realize have valuable this would be in CLP, but it was pleasant to see that I have always tried to challenge things. I ended the paragraph by saying “the older I grow, the more I realize the significance of listening and questioning” and I would proudly tell freshman Jacob that has not changed.
The fourth prompt was to tell them something that they didn’t know about me. So, I told them about my experience with soccer, and at the time this made sense. I had grown up playing soccer and it was very much part of who I was. But looking at this now, I would answer that question differently. Soccer doesn’t play as big of a role in my life as it once did, and I’ve found new passions and grown to have new areas of depth. That’s good though.
I was no doubt nervous when logging into the zoom call for my CLP interview, despite me putting on a front that I was unbothered and didn’t have something at stake. But as I conversed with the group and got to the three on one interview, it all started to feel natural, like these were my people in a sense and I’d tell myself that the feeling was right. I wouldn’t be here today if not for my dad, who I still call my role model when asked, and for my mother, who still sends me links and articles of all sorts, even on LinkedIn now. I wouldn’t be the person I am today, one that I am proud to be, if not for the people and experiences I’ve had through Gonzaga’s Comprehensive Leadership Program and because my freshman self decided to apply.
Freshman CLP Application Reflection
Reflecting on my application to CLP freshman year was a unique experience as it is one of the most open pieces, I have of my freshman self. And it was littered with comments from people who I didn’t know and never met, which made receiving it back really exciting and intimidating at the same time. I choose to reflect on the questions that I had answered for my application as I blacked out during the group interview and only had the comments of the evaluators to go from for that part. I was surprised that of the four questions that I had answered, I found myself disappointed in my response to two of them. On the flip side, I would have answered the other two the same way.
Reflecting on it deeper, it’s clear to see that my knowledge of what CLP is and what I will gain from it has changed. I have gotten so much more out of this program, in leadership and in my everyday life, than my freshman self-thought I would. I’ve also experienced so many new opportunities and challenges so it was no surprise that I would answer the final question about something they don’t know about me differently.
Reading the comments from the people was nice to hear and I was surprised to have gotten as high of a score as I did, with as much support for me to be in CLP too. It was reassuring to know that people felt like I would thrive in CLP and help create such a strong program. Freshman Jacob had no clue what he was getting himself into, but senior Jacob would do the same thing over again if he could and I think that tells you so much about my time and growth in CLP.